I'm Mike from Canmore. Or not.

I knew that there was a reason that Ontario is not very well respected by other Canadians. You always give them a chance, but you're always disappointed.

Girl from Ontario: So you live up north?
Me: Yes.
Her: Do you see polar bears and stuff?
Me: No. I live up north but I don't live anywhere polar.
Her: Oh. Well, what other animals do you see?
Me: I see caribou sometimes.
Her: What's that?
Me: The animal on the quarter.
Her: That's interesting. But do you see grizzly bears and black bears and stuff?
Me: Yeah, once in awhile. In fact, the only person in my high school who died while I went there was mauled to death by a black bear.
Her: That is so cool!
Me: No, it really isn't.